Brats: The Subtle Nuisances of Torture

Lesson 478 Brats: Torture

Side Note: You will frequently see the welling of pride, self –satisfaction, glee gleaming from the small beady eyes of a Brat after a seemingly innocent bout of “play”. Look closely, my dearest reader, look closely into the eyes of the “playmate”, there you shall see tears wishing to be released. What you are witnessing is not children innocently playing, but a Brat afflicting suffering upon a naive adolescent. Ah, the nuances of this torture is almost like a graceful dance, with the untrained eye it all looks so very innocent, but deep within this play is the merriment of Brat. The Brat rejoices when the victim sprawls into a heap of soft weeping. At that moment the Brats aspiration was attained.

Section A: Play

June (age 11) loved babysitting her little three year niece. She loved playing blocks with the little girl. The blocks were made of light colorful plastic, almost lego like in its manufacturing. The little niece loved to help her aunt to build this mysterious arrangement of candy colored plastic. Little did the innocent toddler realize that June was a Brat in the guise of a loving relative.

June was building a box around the toddler. She enclosed the small toddler inside of this box, as soon as the ceiling was finished, she whisper into the cracks “there is no way out”.

The Toddler began to wail. June quickly broke the box down (hearing the frantic footsteps of adults), and began to console the weeping child. The adults entered the room, and praised June for comforting the crying baby.

Section B: Prized Possession

Side Note: The Brat will always seek the prized possession of their victim for it methodical methods of torture. Like an evil dark ray, a beacon through the mist of malevolence, they search for that weakness, and it usually in the form of a plush toy or comforting blanket. A Brat will find this Achilles' heel and destroy it.

Little July, was a sweet child, large innocent eyes, abnormally bright for his young age. His weak point though was a small ratty plush bear. He loved this bear more than anything. April, March and May, would hide this treasured bear, and linger in the darkness, wait with patience, until the small lad become conscious that his beloved bear was missing. The tears would start, at first a subtle panicking, until it formed into a sound so heartbreaking that the coldest of hearts would be moved. These are Brats we are dealing with, darling reader, oh their black hearts were not moved, but small smiles crept onto their lips. They would slowly approach out of their shadowy hide-outs with the bear in their grasp. They would place the bear on the top of a bookshelf, where the tips of his fingers barely scrap. They laughed in delight. May started listing arduous words for the little boy to spell (in order to get his bear back), such as baccalaureate, and how they laughed. That laughter haunts July to this very day.

Lesson 538 Part A : Linguistics

NOTE: The Linguistics of Bratology will be taught in several section.

A brat will alway refer to their parents, birthing or otherwise, as "Mother" and "Father". Their brother's and sisters will frequently be called "siblings".

Lesson 302: The Sound Of .... A Brat

SIDE NOTE: You can always spot a brat, based on the sound of it's laughter. The delicate sounds of bells and the melody of fragile birds singing to a warm sun ... is lacking. The laughter of the BRAT resembles the bellowing of a dying whale or horse in a fight for it's life. It's an evil sound, perhaps even tinged with melancholy . Sometime will lead to slight bleeding of the eye's if not attended to immediately. So be warned.

April, March and May sat huddled on the third floor giggling. Well, actually, they were cackling, like three little witches in their make shift coven. What they were laughing about is a mystery. They laughed and laughed until it was close to the witching hour. Laugher so sinister, it would make muscle peel from the bone. They laughed and laughed, and somehow managed to understand the sentences within the laughter. A secret code, perhaps.

Suddenly, there was a loud banging sound on the floor. Did they conjor a ghost, a lesser know demon, a sprite, a wright of some-sort?

"Quiet" boomed a loud voice, "It's two in the morning and I'm trying to sleep".

There was silence, the silence lasted for several minutes.

"Mother doesn't like the sound of joy" whispered March. All three of them started singing softly at first ... than louder ... and louder... "Mother doesn't like the sound of joy".

Lesson 201: Brats Reaction to Menses

SIDE NOTE: A common way to spot a cluster of brats is to see how they react to the natural functions of growing up. It is quite typical to find brats antagonizing the outsider.

April and May crept up the stairs and pressed their ears to the bathroom door. March attempted to conceal the event by wrapping her feminine products in newspaper before disposing them. The crinkling of the paper confirmed April's suspicion. March had become a "woman" and failed to tell any of the sisters.

In hopes for a confession April and May would have loud conversation in the narrow hall right in front of the bathroom door:

"If I was ever to get my period, I wouldn't try to hid it. Everyone would think it was just mom having her period," April spoke directly through the cracks of the door.

"I KNOW!," May agreed. She was never great for comebacks.

"I definitely wouldn't be a fool and try to hide it in...lets say....NEWSPAPERS!"

"Yea, so obvious"

The same conversation occurred outside the bathroom door for approximately two days. March held a cold stone face and never even mentioned hearing April and May outside the bathroom door. She never flinched when the two of them saw her carrying newspapers into the bathroom. She didn't tell them a thing.

It was during the middle of the week, when their mother had decided to take them somewhere. The place they were headed is not as important as the conversation that was occurring inside the vehicle. March was in the front seat.

The sneaky duo in the backseat giggling at the labors of womanhood. That is when their mother snapped. On top of her lungs screamed, "Shut up. This one is having her period and now will go off and have babies. What is going on?!?"

The two monsters were silenced, and all that were heard was the whimpering of March, "You promised not to tell."

This story has a much happier ending. Fast forward 4 years. March is now about 16.

"Mom, I have something to tell you," it was a bit coincidental that they were on the same road in which their mother had blurted out the menses secret, "I'm pregnant."

Their mother almost crashed the little sedan. "April Fool's!" March said as April and May laughed away.